Tuesday, October 6, 2026

Helpful but frequently cringey advice for those of us who suck at mingling

⭐⭐⭐  

An interesting-enough read. In this new, fourth edition of The Art of Mingling, author Jeanne Martinet immediately identified my type of social awkwardness; like others, I'm pretty good in small groups (and can handle myself well enough in situations where the conversation topics are clear, like when I'm working a booth at a conference or volunteering at a historic site), but my mind goes completely blank if I'm at a larger party where I only know a person or two. Or even at a networking reception where I theoretically have things in common with people.

Martinet also identifies that in-person socializing is a good, healthy thing for people and that we're damaged by doing all of our socializing online. I'm part of a number of online communities--heck, I met my husband through one--so it's not that I don't appreciate them. But there are times that it's good to get out and actually talk to people. In person. Even people you don't know.

Martinet gives advice for various aspects of mingling, most of which could work at either social parties or business functions. She describes techniques to join conversations, how to get out of conversations, how to build yourself up to start mingling. what to do if you make a faux pas. Late in the book, she has a whole chapter about dealing with politics in conversation (mostly about avoiding politics in conversation).

A lot of the general concepts are helpful and, like many other self-help books, though I may not fully buy all of her advice, it's helpful for getting into the right headspace. And there are legitimately some helpful tips for how to handle parties and mingling.

However.

A lot of the actual lines and examples Martinet gives are extremely cringe. I would never say them. Someone saying many, many of her lines would be just incredibly awkward. She frequently provides five or six sample lines to use in a given situation, and of those, there's usually one I would consider an actual option to use in real life.

I'd recommend this book as a general guide to help give you some general ideas about how to handle social situations. I'd just avoid a lot of the specifics.

Thank you to NetGalley and St. Martin's Press for the opportunity to read an advance copy in exchange for my honest opinion.

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